overheard yesterday

Ethan while dancing a pilot bear around: he won seventy three battles!!
Maia: well GOOD for him!

jon and kate plus 8

watching trash tv and they are talking about john and kate and how the kids say dad I dont want you to leave anymore. and take that as the kids are so in terror of losing their daddy. huh? what? MY 5 year old says that every day probably 10 times a day. and there is NO danger of her losing her daddy. she just wishes her daddy could stay and play with her ALL THE TIME, not just when he isnt working. she wants him to play with her when WANTS him rather than when he is available. another scene one boy says to the other Im gonna kick you. and they say its the cameras taking their toll and the boys are really damaged to say such things. THEY ARE BOYS! heck my SEVEN year old doesnt even warn he just does it! boys are LIKE THAT! they are! its been a hard lesson for me because my oldest son was NOT that way but the more boys I meet I find that boys are rough and tumble ALL THE TIME. it wasnt like these little boys were beating the daylights out of each other. they are just trying things out. and it was all blown out of proportion. I dont know what goes on with jon and kate or what will happen with their marriage but geezalou the press can twist things around! I do feel bad for the family that all this negative press is out there. why cant people just watch or not watch? if you dont like it dont watch. if you do like it watch it. its that simple. nothing i can do or you can do is going to change what they are going to do any more than yelling at a football player on the the tv. so why cant they just let it go?

I was thinking last night how the boy's new medication was working so well. silly me. thats what I get for thinking. today was not a good day for him. of course it doesnt help when his dad lets him get up at 6. he has been awful most of the day and now he has broken the trampoline AGAIN. so he is done. cooked. time to get ready for bed. no more outside today. stories and bed in short order. I am willing to bet ANYTHING that he will sleep later tomorrow because dad isnt here(he knows dad is a pushover) and thus will be in a better mood. but man today sucked behaviorwise. lots of time in his room getting himself together for smart mouthing. argumentative like mad today. wants to argue about anything and everything. a lot of sorry to hear thats today. I tried to teach him about time and the clock and he just refuses to think. even attempt to think. his automatic answer is I dont know. its cody all over again. Cody HATED school and learning. and would hide under the table when we asked him to read or write. I dont exaclty know what to do with him.

A trip to the grocery

I took chrysta to the grocery store with me and split the list with her. she took her cart and list I took mine. we were out of there in half hour! awesome! from now on Chrysta goes shoppin with Mama!!

more silliness

Maia has smelly markers. one smells like lemons. SHe came running to me and said mom! smell my tongue!! does it smell like lemons? I said uhhh no. why? she said she licked one of her smelly markers.
lol that kid.

silly staturday

cody put his finger in the cookie dough. I said we dont know where your hands have been! Ethan says he was playing in the dirt. I say there are worse germs than dirt. Maia says "yeah! like dirty turtles?" lol watch out for dirty turtles.

favorite photo friday

Eric spoke with the jerk as he called yesterday when I was not here. He said they could go BUT he always has to put these little stipulations in there, this time is no different. he says they can go,but while one travels he wants the other with him. yknow, because we cant have any continuity for the other kids by having their older siblings with them. We cant have an extra pair of hands for whoever is watching the younger ones. and he never wants them unless there is something involved. he doesnt call wanting them every other weekend. not even once a month. once every couple of months and if we have plans then its another couple of months before he asks for them. so its his little way of getting in a dig. like we need the added stress of planning another delivery and pickup of a child while we are trying to get to the airport and get to Ukraine. we will already have to likely travel to his moms or my moms with the younger kids. and you can bet it wont be in his schedule to do it when its conveient for us. Silly me for wanting to show the kids the world, I wish I had never asked.

some people are just cruel

and I wish there was a way to be rid of him. the kids called their dad and he finally answered and they asked if they could go to Ukraine. he wanted to talk to me. made me miss the end of my show which pissed me off to start with. then wanted to bring up shit from YEARS ago as he always does and basically refused to say they could go. and why are you going? I refused to tell him. It would just be one more thing for him to complain about. he will say you have too many kids I dont want cody aand chrysta to have so many siblings. blahblahblah. he was in it for him, what am I going to do for HIM, as he always is. Oh god if there was a way to be rid of him I would. I do not need his shit. here is a chance for the kids to see the world. but he wants to argue about he doesnt like homeschool(yeah cus he dropped out in tenth grade so we all know public school is so great!) he just wants to be in control. He pays child support, but he doesnt see them. he doesnt come to their things like concerts or recitals or art shows. he doesnt want them to go to camp. doesnt want them to take music lessons. doesnt want them to get medical care or dental care(unless of course he approves it before hand). he just wants to be in control. wants to hold the strings and only let us do what HE says we can do. he would rather I send them to public school to be ridiculed and bullied than have them safe and well adjusted? where was he when they were learning to ride bikes? where is he when they need cheering on like when they ride the braml? he complains I dont tell him anything THIS IS WHY! he just wants to argue and be in control. I hate him. I hate him. I do not advocate hate but I hate him. I told the kids that their dad said they coudlnt go. I am tired of taking the fall for everything while they put him on a little pedastal. so he called back and put chrysta in the middle using her as a pawn just like he used to when they were little. poor chrysta didnt know what to do. I said tell him you have to go and hang up. and I told her after that she doesnt have to let anyone talk to her that waay and she can hang up anytime. I walked so mad last night. I always walk hard when I am mad. and I was STEAMED. I knew he would act this why. Eric was so sure that he would say yes, because its a trip of a lifetime for them, but I said no he is going to be an ass about it, and I was right. I would have loved to have been wrong aand eaten crow. but he doesnt change. and since he has a woman now he is worse. he is ALWAYS worse when he has a woman. says he is going to marry her(said that with each of the last ones too) but he is so codependent he cant function alone. I dont want the kids to hurry and grow up but I sure want them to be 18 so I dont have to deal with him anymore. I suppose I could go to court but it would cost a lot and since we have the other one out there sucking money and a little one in the works I dont think I can afford it.

a parent who loves himself more than his kids

band concert, award- missed it
piano concert- missed it
art show- missed it
all piano recitals past- missed them


his excuse is that he cant come its too far and its always at night and blah blah blah. Eric left work to rush up to Danielle's dance recital, driving several hours, watched recital, had a moment with the girl, drove several hours home again and went to work the next day. he also did this when his kids graduated from high school. its called being a parent. I am so annoyed that he hasnt even spoken to her this week to tell her good luck or anything. He wont return my calls so I have no idea if he is going to let them go to Ukraine with us. he is an ass and I suspect the kids are going to come to that realization on their own one of these days soon. I have done my best not to poison them against him. if they turn their backs on him, it was all his own doing. or rather lack of doing.

12 going on 17.

Chrysta got her haircut today. what a difference a day makes. she changes so much! the little kids told me someone had a friend over because they didnt know who she was!

how is it possible?

that some people do not want better for their kids than they had? doesnt that strike you as wierd? but that is just what the kids dad seems to want. he thinks they shouldnt go to camp because he didnt. I think he just doesnt want to pay for any of it. and I called to ask about taking the kids to Ukraine but of course he didnt call me back and doesnt answer my calls. he has yet to pay me for any of the money he owes me for activities and medical for like the past FIVE years. and wants me to ask his permission before putting them in anything. yeah right father of the year. chrysta takes piano, and they go to summer camp, and she does girl scouts. they did do some swimming lessons in the past. but other than that they dont do a lot that costs money. and I am supposed to clear with him whether they need medical care? I think not. he is no doctor. and to be fair he gets by quite cheap in that aspect with us having a doctor at home. a lot of things that I used to take them to the doctor for I now know enough to know it isnt necessary or I can consult with eric if it really is necessary. so basically he is bitching about piano lessons and summer camp, glasses, braces, and a broken arm. He is really something. I need to look into whether I even need his permission. Danielle only needed one parents permission when she went on a cruise to the bahamas.

I make sure the kids see their grandma and cousins that I can get them to. but cousins were around from out of town and father of the year went to visit but didnt bother to take the kids or even ask them to come. no he is more concerned with himself. If I didnt take those kids to see their grandma they would NEVER EVER see her. ever. I have also decided that the kids can ask their dad if they can get a passport and go to Ukraine. that way if he says no its all on him. and they will know its all on him and they can go ahead and be mad at him instead of me the messenger who always has to be the bearer of bad news. except since he is out of town with the fam he has his phone turned off so no one can reach him. some father of the year. doesnt want the kids to know he went to see the fam so he turns off his phone. there is a reason I am no longer married to him. and I thank GOd or my lucky stars or anyone who will listen that I was smart enough to leave when I did. because look at all I have been given since then. A LOVING husband, two more wonderful kids, one on the way, a nice house and land that WE enjoy together, family time and family outings, and best of all...NO LIES! NO GAMES! NO GUESSING! all is on the table. I am very lucky.

eric wanted to go today and help out at the campground but now he had round and do an H and P so he wont get home until its too late. so I guess thats out. I can hang some clothes on the line though. and I have some sewing to do. but yet here I sit. on the computer and watching scrubs. basement needs cleaning. a lot. so yeah there is lots of things I could be doing. should be doing. but all I can do is sit here and plan and scheme and worry and wish for Ana.

Eric and I considered taking the big kids with us to Ukraine, one at time. But I am not sure their dad will go along with that. he is a jerk that thinks only of himself and actually DOESNT want better for his kids than he had. he already said they shouldnt go to summer camp because he never did. I personally think he is just jealous that we can give them those things and he contributes pennies to their support and nothing towards their medical or activities(even though he is SUPPOSED to pay half) its all about his control. still. 10 years later. and I imagine until both kids are 18 it will be much the same. but let me tell you BOY! I cant WAIT until they are both 18 (4 years for one and 6 for the other) and no longer need his permission for ANYTHING. He didnt come to Chrysta's piano recital because he was punishing me for sending the kids to piano lessons and summer camp and getting them medical care and then having the nerve to send him the bill for his half. He wants me to get his permission before letting them do anything. that is bull. He sees them a few times a year and I am supposed to ask him about everything the kids do? NOT! you wanna be father of the year then be INVOLVED not just IN CHARGE.

whew that went off in a tangent there didnt it. Chrysta is playing piano right now. she was motivated by some of the younger kids playing harder songs than her at her recital so she has been playing a lot lately. she has a flute concert next tuesday which I dont believe her dad will be attending. right. father of the year.

well I guess its time to get off the computer and do SOMETHING. anything.