half a glass of wine and I think I am going to throw up.

yesterday/today

yesterday Ethan was wild and obnoxious. aggravating and antagonizing. today he is an angel. an absolute doll. following all the rules.sat in my lap while we watched imagination movers. NO tantrum when I said tv off. working on his school work like a dream(and he is SOO good at it!) played well with the other kids at gym class today. did NOT make a fuss when we left gym class. happily ate up his lunch. happily went off to school. he has been so incredible today I felt I had to reward him somehow. I gave him a big sticker. he liked that. I also told him what a good job he is doing today. he is not fighting with his sister all the livelong day. they had a few minor spats that cleared up quickly but nothing more than is normal sibling stuff. I am just so thrilled and surprised at him today. I am sure it wont last but I am trying really hard today to praise him as much as I can so he can see how nice that is instead of always being the one in trouble. I have been faithfully using 1-2-3 magic. He TOTALLY gets it. I know other people say what do you do when the kid starts to count, then it doesnt work anymore. But I have ignored his counting and carried on as if he hadnt said a word and seems to be working. my MIL really likes 123 she used to teach her clients to do that. so a little positive reinforcements for MOM helps. I actually look FORWARD to his arrival home from preschool today. the kid is so hungry since I took him off the meds I had to reinstate the morning snack. I am just so proud right now. busting at the seams with love for my happy little guy.

I am tired. all my kids are pissed at me at the moment. its always me. I am always the bad guy. could that be because I am the one who is always HERE? Eric had somewhere to be today. figures. Ethan is Ethan. Less angry than on the meds but Chrysta is making up for his attitude. now she is pissed because since she didnt do her work she cant go to art class. I dont know why I keep hanging on to this idea of having another baby. None of the kids I have are all that great. They drain me daily of any kind thoughts I might have. the one guppy we had left is now gone. Guess he made a good meal for one of the other fish. maybe guppies have the right idea.

Maia lost another tooth!

Maia lost another tooth last night. now she is missing her two bottom front teeth. there is a new one coming in already. she isnt even 5 yet! and then we have Ethan who is nearly 7 and has all his teeth and this drives him absolutely bonkers that she lost hers and he didnt. although in his mind I am not sure he understands that he is older. I think he thinks of them as the same.  but he has a sweet and generous nature. even if he can be a little monster sometimes. whenever he hears about someone who has less than he has he wants to give and share what he has. He understands givng from the heart in a way his sister doesnt.  so she lost her teeth but he has gained a giving spirit. I guess it comes out even.

I have the boy off his meds today. An experiment. he is still Ethan but MUCH LESS SO. so do I try to find a different drug that wont make him so aggressive? or try to live without? I medicated him wiht the hopes of making him better, not worse! life with him is unbearable on his meds.  he is angry, he lashes out, he snarls at us all day long. it is hard to be  a loving and sweet mom when the entire day you are told everything you do is wrong. not to mention he is eating everything in sight today while off his meds.

GRRRR!

from now on the door alarm is on every night all night. no excuses. the creeper has struck again. an entire package of cream cheese in his room. under the damn bed. since yesterday. what a waste. if he is hungry why doesnt he eat his damn dinner? did I mention he cranked the thermostat down to FORTY! yes 40. It's a damn good thing our house is really insulated well and has six inch walls. then this morning he is biting the balloons trying to pop them. what am I going to do with this kid?

edited to add: he also apparently ate an entire container of coolwhip. well he ate the coolwhip, cody ate the pudding, so much for my robert redford dessert.

happy birthday daddy!

the saga of the dog

continues....

he was here the other night. I knew he was because my big boy kept barking. he is a lot like a kid. kids cry in certain ways letting you know hungry hurt needs a cuddle. Well big boy has a bark that says tattle tale! someone is getting away with something! I swear he does. Others have seen it. He also has a "someone is here who shouldnt be" bark. and of course the someone is here! who is it! go away cus I am the big mean dog! bark.

so the other night he was letting us know that someone is here who shouldnt be. its always the same. about 10-11pm. so I thought he left after my dog stopped barking. It turns out he didnt leave, he just left the porch. he is now harrassing the kids via the windows to let him in. HE DOES NOT LIVE HERE! so anyways he is jumping up on the low windows(most of our windows are low enough that he could jump up on two paws and look in. and with snowbanks even the ones he couldnt reach he can. so he has been pawing at the windows WRECKING THE SCREENS! I rue the day that dog came into my life. If it were MY dog doing the damage, then I would be disappointed but its my dog so I would just feel like ok thats life. but it isnt my dog. and I am a little pissed. I dont think there is a lot I can do about it either since the cops tell me there is no dog ordinance. of course the city told me there IS a dog ordinance they just cant enforce it due to space issues. so now I have screens with holes in them. not a big deal in the winter but each time he does that the holes get bigger and then when its summer you open the windows to a screen full of holes and have a house full of skeeters! obviously after I took him to a nice hotel his family bailed him out. if he would just come during the day time so I could take him in again. but no he always comes at night.

well the flu has been through our house like wildfire. My turn now. but not as bad as they had it thank goodness. Not much else to update. no word from the attorney. still. nothing. not a word. nada. annoying as all hell for sure. Weekend after next the kids are going to grandma's for the weekend(the little ones are) so hopefully hubby and I can get away for an afternoon.

wish I had something profound to write about but I am left with nothing. My brain is barely functioning. I am about to fall asleep. and I have scouts tonight too.

so it begins

ethan we have a haircut appointment at 3

NOOOOOO!!! I like it this way!!

you cant even see!

I can see fine! I like it this way!!

well I smell my scrap retreat slipping away. how can I leave my sick baby at home while I go have fun? all she wants is to sit in my lap. she usuallly runs circles around her brother but she is so subdued I had to dress her. she got in the shower with me and sat in my lap and just sat there. she loves to mess around in the shower. she just sat there and then after I washed her hair she said can I get out now? usually when maia showers everyone else gets out of the shower and she refuses to get out and is left there still messing around. sometimes she even turns the water back on in her sneaky fashion. and this morning it was like she didnt know what she was supposed to do in there. she just sat there looking up at the water now and then. she was feeling some better yesterday and getting a little more animated and funny but was up puking again at 11pm. and again this morning. The sun is shining and it would be a beautiful day to drive to cross lake but Eric isnt home yet from rounding and I just dont think i can leave her like this. no one else is sick. that fact and her lethargy really worry me. anyone who knows maia at all knows that for her to be still for long is not her personality. I remember I asked E once how he knew that danielle was so sick. he said she was just a limp noodle. and that is maia right now. she doesnt do or want to do anything but lay here. I try to tell myself when I am sick all I want to do is lay around so she isnt doing anything out of the ordinary but why is no one else sick around here if its just a bug?

Polio

we are watching something on pbs about polio. what an incredible time that must have been. similar I bet to how things were with leprosy. So scary to know your loved one was so sick. not knowing what would happen. would they get better? how bad would it be? would they die? A lot of times you will hear me say how I wish we could return to a simpler time but there are some things I do not want to return to. I vaccinated my kids. there are those who choose not to but I prefer knowing that MY kid is NOT going to get one of the dreaded diseases of the past. they will NOT face a future in an iron lung or banished from their neighborhood. i am happy to know that. I have seen the damage done. Don't want to go there again. I have a hard time understanding people who choose not to vaccinate. their fear of the vaaccines puts the kids at risk of so much more. I know some people believe that vaccines are linked to autism and all sorts of other things. but in my eyes I would rather risk these than risk polio or whooping cough measles or other diseases of the past.