Tuesday, December 30, 2008

raising black boys to black men

so yesterday on the drive to st cloud I got to thinking about something someone said in an adoption forum.they were concerned about how a white parent could possibly teach a black child to grow up to be a black man.

the conclusion I came to is, it doesnt really matter if you are a black parent or a blue or green or pink or white. you teach the kid to be responsible and caring. you teach them right from wrong. this is not a black vs white issue. its a human issue. Sure a white parent might have a learning curve in dealing with discrimination but together with their child they can come to conclusions that are appropriate. so how are black men different from white men beyond the color of their skin? there are good black men and bad black men. likewise there are good white men and bad white men.

it all depends on the man. you can have a child grow up in poverty and surrounded by violence and yet he grows up to be a good and responsible citizen. You can have a child who grows up in luxury wanting for nothing, and he can grow up to be a sociopath. so why the big deal about white people raising black children? it shouldnt matter what color either is. what matters is the ability of the parent to teach the child and raise him and parent him until he is grown.

is it better a child should die of starvation than be raised by a family with a skin color different from his own? Is it better a child should sit in foster care never knowing a permanent home just because he cant have a home that is black? If a white child was placed with a black family who could take care of them and raise them to be responsible productive citizens then I would be ok with that. so why the big deal about white people raising black kids? its this age old double standard. we should not let skin color dictate our hiring, or friendships, or interactions, but at the same time we SHOULD let skin color keep a child from a home? all of a sudden when it comes to raising kids we should seperate the colors? that makes no sense at all.

I have YET to meet a person of any color that I had a problem with personally based on their color. I have had friends who are black, mexican,spanish, mixed race, white. they are all just people. if we arent supposed to judge black people based on their color, why are they judging white people based on color?

people are just people! good or bad. black or white. rich or poor. you have to judge each person as an individual. I do not want to be judged with the likes of leona helmsly just because I am a white woman. I do not want to be judged as like the adoptive parents who have killed their children, based only on the fact that I am an adoptive parent. I want people to look at ME and say good or bad based on my actions or inactions. thats the way I try to look at other people. yes color is important, its part of who you are and should be celebrated. but it shouldnt be the sole decider of who you are.

Monday, December 29, 2008

about my friend

I took my friend to st cloud this morning. the "hotel" I dropped him at was gracious enough to let me in even though they didnt open till noon. I fully expect to see him again as all his family has to do is pay 50 dollars in the next 5 days to get him home. I was also informed that there is someone in this county who takes care of these kinds of friends. Will have to look into that as there seems to always be some new "friend" who needs a place. Sorry Car, I was unable to look in on your friend. but I did ask and they said as long as there is no food agression they will find them a home. so I imagine your friend has found a friend of his own or is well on his way to finding a life partner. My friend was so loving on the ride. I hated to come home without him. He just wanted me to love on him. He wanted to leave with me. He really and truly believes I am his person. Thats what I get I suppose for having a heart.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I love languages

I wish I could speak them all. I could learn one probably in whats left of my life but which one? russian? german? spanish? I know a smattering of each. maybe something else? I think I am fairly fluent in American(not English, thats different). I think it would be fun to speak something other than pig latin. Not that anyone would understand me but I still think it would be fun. The part I can't understand is how you get past translating into the language and start THINKING in that language. Immersion maybe. I think when we went to Mexico my Spanish was coming back and I had to think less to translate but I dont know that I ever got to the point of THINKING in Spanish. Not that I know that much to begin with but enough to pay the cab and find a bathroom = )I am not of Spanish heritage. I AM German, but there are no German speaking relatives left. I have a little RUssian who might enjoy learning Russian with me, but at this point he is mastering American. Spanish would be most likely the most useful but maybe not. I dont know.I just love languages. I love to hear them. I love to imagine being able to speak them. if only I really COULD speak them all.

A whole houseful of cranky. want some?

today we went ice skating. the kids had a good time. we all walked up there and they skated awhile and then came home again and made hot choco and Maia has been losing it ever since. her candy cane was broken. sister took her spot. ethan called her something. sister isnt talking to her. blah blah blah. cry cry cry. she is beside herself. she has no idea why we are not dealing with these terrible injustices against her. Daddy is not helpful at this point. he is tired. reading the paper. tuned out. angry that I asked him to interrupt his busy schedule to parent. I wanted to stay home alone awhile today but that didnt happen. I wanted to get out yesterday that didnt happen either. he is on call next weekend all weekend. I neeeeeed to get away awhile....alone. but I guess that isnt going to happen. cody and chrysta are home from their dads. chrysta is all attitude and uppity. Not sure why she doesnt share her lovely attitude with her dad. oh thats right because no one asks anything of her and they only do fun things. so all in all its not been a lovely day. oh three down now, one to go. Ethan is wailing because I want him to clean up his room. I cant even walk in there. his clothes are everywhere instead of putting them away. so lets see that leaves just cody to be pissed off. I guess I might as well get that out of the way now, so I will go tell him he has to get off the computer for awhile so sister can have turn. not that she deserves it at this point.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

so on a list I am on they brought up the fiasco where they took all those kids from their parents who were polygamous. I am not saying that it is ok to marry a 12 year old. I am not saying its ok to have sex with a 12 year old. that said, I get to wondering if they took the kids out of fear for their safety or because they lived outside the norm.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Maia wants a barbie with flat feet. mattel needs to move into this time when women do not live in their high heels all day every day. We have flat feet, we wear tennis shoes, and other shoes that do not require feet at a 60% grade.

Monday, December 22, 2008

I am outraged that they mayor even ASKED the city to foot the bill for his drunken brawl. I am even more flabbergasted that the council agreed to pay it. How has this man stayed in office for so long? His city is obviously not his priority. He is lookin out for number one, and not even considering the people of this city. Just like they stuck us with the paving of that road....because they promised the maintenance guy they would pave it. not because it needed it. not because the people were screaming to pave it. but because they promised the maintenance guy as well as the owner of the new development. This town is so assbackwards and screwy. the entire city INCLUDING SEMI TRUCKS drive on that new road. yet only the families who live on have to foot the bill. I grew up on a truck route so I know the damage that is done by them. sure am glad we paved that road up.....so we can pave it again in a couple years! but I digress. Back to the mayor and his legal problems. How did this become OUR problem? when did we become responsible for his adult actions(no matter how juvenile they were). I cant believe the council went along with this. and they let him vote on it! he should have recused himself. it directly affected him. god I hope the new mayor is better than this one.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Plea for the children

Reecesrainbow.org has special needs kids that need homes. some of them are severe. many of them are downs syndrome. I am hoping that anyone reading this can spread the word and also go there yourself and donate to a child's adoption fund. Even if its only a dollar. That dollar, that one single dollar could mean the difference between a child with disabilities getting a home and a loving family, or dieing in an institution never knowing the love of a family. It just breaks my heart that these kids just wait and wait. I am but one person. I can not do much for all of them. but I can spread the word that they are out there. I hope you will at least go there and look at their little faces and hope high hopes for them. Pray for them if you pray. I wish there was more I could do.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Saw this quote on my friend Mardi's messenger. It reminded me of Car. THe kind of thing she would say wow. tht is just so right on.

it said "be a fountain...not a drain"

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

sick sick sick. icant talk. not even a little. I can whisper. but thats it. If I try to do anything more than that I might get a croak but then its back to whisper. I was bad yesterday. I had two cokes. but I figured hey I didnt have one for about 3 days. so how am I going to get through this day without being able to yell at my kids? not that I yell at them a lot but I cant even yell to the next room to ask them a question? I remember once when cody and chrysta were small and I had this crud and couldnt talk. I whispered at them and they whispered back. it was cute. My faithful loyal furry companion is here by my side. he really never leaves my side. unless eric is here then he lays at my feet. I have three comforters on the bed right now so I guess its a nice squishy place to lay. I didnt leave the house yesterday. couldnt. driveway wasnt and isnt cleared all the way. I figured as cold as it was and as much snow as there was no one else would be going anywhere anyways but the kids were still mad that we didnt go. Only two more days until Eric's long weekend. too bad his mom has to work so we cant go anywhere.

Monday, December 15, 2008


today we saw a sundog. this is the third sundog I have seen. mega cool. Moondogs are way cool too but the sundogs seem to say "the sky is falling" because I am sure there is some scripture somewhere that says something about three suns meaning the end of the world or some such nonsense. anyways its just plain neat to see a sundog, or a moondog. I never saw a single one before I moved here. I guess MN is the home of the dogs, moon, sun or otherwise.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

fat quarters

Today i made a triangle hair scarf thingy for chrysta from a fat quarter. I also made an adorable apron for Maia with 2 fat quarters. I had leftover only one strip of selvage I cut off. I definitely think I used them wisely. considering how to make an apron for Chrysta too.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

from maia

mndot 511

what the hell good is a travel weather website if the last time it was updated was 10am YESTERDAY!!!! i cant find another site. this is sponsored by MNDOT and they always say call 511! or go online to 511.com WhATEvER! Today is Chrysta's piano recital. it has been snowing for HOURS and our road is not plowed in the least. not ONE plow has been through here since it started snowing at 11am. its now after 3 so I guess we arent going. It is still snowing but not as heavily. We are supposed to be there by now. I decided not to risk the entire family for a piano recital. I tried calling the piano teacher but she didnt answer. so I guess we will just be no shows. I can't imagine we will be the only ones. if she had planned it here in Isle I might have tried to get out. But why should I travel 20 miles roundtrip in a foot of snow?

The kids have shoveled the driveway and Ethan has been out to play several times, coming in to eat. He likes hot chocolate and will go out for ten minutes so he can come in and have hot choco. but I am out so he is just having a high old time out there. The sledding season has officially begun. they were out there today and yesterday sledding.

To someone who is thinking about couples, you know who you are, its really annoying when the other half of the couple is never home.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Once again my brilliant boy, left to his own devices found himself a way to learn to count to a hundred and above! he was playing with the measuring tape and started counting along the numbers and he (with a minimal amount of help) counted up to about a hundred fifteen. This kid is the epitome of unschooling. he doesnt have a lot of structure. he just plays what he wants when he wants. he has been known to be found sounding out words, writing little notes with real letters and even on occasion real words like mom or dad. funny how this kid just searches out knowledge and I cant pound it into the older ones and when left to find it themselves they refuse.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

ARRghhhH! after 4 months of waiting, the call came. it was not what they said it would be it was something comepletely ridiculous! 1800 a month ridiculous!! are they out of their freaking MIND! I am moving to CA where the law would have already dumped her from our pay roll.