There is this family. They do not live NEAR me. Only within the same town. I am being purposely vague. They have a dog. I have a dog. Their dog got lost once and I found him. I kept him until we found his home. he was a nice boy but not much on manners. He comes to visit us still. He comes, I call them. they come get him. or alternately I call and they dont come get him. and sometimes I just dont call because it is late at night or I am just plain sick of it. so one of their kids is in a group I lead (again vauge) and since the rest of the family tromps along and sits and just waits during the group meeting I mention the dog to include the other kids, to relate to the kid in my group, to just have conversation with the mom. well apparently this distresses them greatly and I have been "making jokes" about their dog visiting us. If you kept your dog HOME on a LEASH, or at the very least NEUTER him, he wouldnt BE at my house. so how is this now MY fault? I am so done with this town.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
no we cant teach your kid to swim, he is afraid of water.
and now, no we can't have your kid at church because after we set them on fire and then we feed them red juice(and dont tell me red food dyes are harmless) and then tell them sit down and shut up and yours cant.
No we never know who you are at the store even though you have come here darn near 7 days a week for over 3 years.
I am just hurt and pissed and upset and angry and on and on.
No one likes to hear their kid is in trouble. but its even worse then its so fucking STUPID. No one is saying anything about the girl who uses the F word and climbs the walls and has a sassy mouth like crazy.
I have NEVER felt the way I do in this town. never. ever. I have lived about 10 different places. some small towns. some big cities. some mid sized cities. none has ever treated us the way they do here.
That said, I AM thankful for the few good friends I have and that I feel I can count on. The ones who tells me dont fret, we dont all feel the way the rest of the town does. The ones who willingly spend time with us. The ones who show up when times are tough. I AM thankful for them. I just have to come to the place where I can say the rest of the town can GO TO HELL.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Ehan is such an imp sometimes but when it comes to working on something together he is all in there helping out. He loves to take out the compost. he did that several times yesterday while Daddy cleaned the gutters. He loves to help in the garden. He loves to help set the table or clear the table. and if there is one kid I can count on to clear his spot after he eats it's Ethan. He likes to go to the store with me just the two of us. He DOESNT like doing things that are just him. he also doesnt like cleaning the playroom(who would) but I dont dump all the toys on the floor every single time they get picked up. I clean them up and say take out one or two toys and then put them back before choosing another. that lasts 2 minutes tops and he has it dumped again. I imagine it wont be long before everything is on the floor again. I know the barbies are all over the floor already. I wonder if she would like the furniture my mom and I saved all these years from my barbie days. I suppose it would just add to the chaos.
Eric has taken Ethan to go hunting this morning then in to round on his patients. leaving me with just Maia who is momentarily sleeping and will likely sleep in because I didnt go back to sleep. she usually is up at 730 like clockwork.I didnr go back to sleep at 7 because I didnt think it would be worth it. of course now she wont wake and I will have missed out on an extra hours sleep.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I did cloverbuds at 4H and one little girl was particularly annoying. She hurt her fingers doing rockets and went crying in to her Mommy. She wouldn't play with the other kids, unless it was HER way. She was bossy and annoying and didn't share well. I was counting the minutes till it was over. but then MY kid said HOLY MACKEREL!! (Mind you, her younger brother said Holy Shoot! not 5 minutes before) She yelled at him that it was a bad word. Then she argued with me about it. I said a mackerel is a fish, it is not a bad word. yes it is, my mom told me. if you say holy that means worshipping something(she is like 5 or 6 at the most) I told her that was fine for her but she is not Ethan's parent so she doesn't get to tell him what he can and can not say. The mom has volunteered to help the committee make table decorations for the awards night. She said is 9 to early? I said YES! Nine is ABSOLUTELY too early!( I have to drive 15 miles to get there and I have other kids to think of too) she said ok then, nine O' clock it is. Meet here at 9. I don't think I am going tot take her over there. She will be mad. but I really don't know this lady and when I think about it, I really don't want her taking my kid to elk river. I am not essentially handing over my child to a virtual stranger.
Today was homeschool gathering day. 2 of our Obama Mamas didn't show. Two of us did. Several of the misinformed but religious voters were there. They cant believe that we would support, endorse, or God Forbid VOTE! for "that one!" he believes in abortion! he is a terrorist! he wants to take his oath on a quran! And then we had to defend Islamic terrorist as EXTREMISTS just like Christian EXTREMISTS. One girl (whom I wouldn't have previously thought had a thought of her own) pointed out that Christian extremists bombing an abortion clinic in the name of Christianity doesn't make it ok, sort of like the Islamic extremists who claim they do what they do based on the Quran. Islam in and of itself is not bad. The quran does NOT condone hurting or killing other people. I sort of felt like I was not even being heard. One is convinced that it doesn't matter who we vote for anyway, the one who God wants in office will win. WHAT? God picks the president? why the hell do we bother with elections then? Why do we have debates? Why do we care who is running? Cus y'know, God is in charge and he will choose the president so what do they need us for?
running off in the abortion direction. If Roe v Wade is overturned and abortion is no longer available as some people hope, women will go back to dying in back alleys having botched abortions. Women WILL get abortions. they will. if you make it illegal they will do it illegally and without regulation. Of course you know that all of them got pregnant on purpose. or at least most of them did. yknow, like they went out and asked to be raped. That is such crap. If a woman is in a position where she feels an abortion is her only option, then it should be available to her. And how do you define abortion anyways? It simply means ending a pregnancy. by that definition I had one myself. The difference being I wanted the fetus but it didn't survive, but wasn't expelled. It was a very difficult time. I feel for any woman who feels abortion is what she must do. Do people think that women who choose abortion really just dont give a rip? that they have no feelings about it? That emotionally its no different than a trip to the dentist for a tooth extraction? Abortion is a touch choice but women deserve to HAVE a choice. You cant know what another person is feeling, or what you would feel in the same situation, until it is YOU in that position. I do not think abortion is for me, but if I was raped would I feel the same? If I had 4 kids already and an abusive partner and not enough food to go around would I feel the same? If I was a year or two away from a college degree and a life that doesn't include living on minimum wage would I feel the same?
Basically I am starting to see WHY Islamic terrorists hate us. It is because of the intolerant Christian view of the world. They say the quran isn't the bible so it bad, Islam isn't Christianity as we know it, so its bad. Christianity doesn't see the feelings or pain of others, only that "they know what's right" and you aren't following it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
is this our future? I sure hope not. But GW has done his very best to ensure it is our future. I like to think he didn't intend for it to turn out this way, but it did turn out this way, intended or not. I often wonder what life was like for immigrants and the poor. We are sure to learn first hand what it was like to have nothing. Think of the things you have in your house that are important to you. if you have to leave you cant take everything. what would you take? Your children of course. maybe photos. pets? Can you afford to feed the pets? will your children go hungry if you take the pets? what about those trinkets that remind you of this place or that person? you cant take everything. If I had to live without all the stuff in my house, I would survive, I am sure. All I REALLY need is my family, my friends, and my photos. I would miss my dogs terribly but I could probably survive without them. All the other stuff is just stuff and when I die someone will sell it all anyways. it isnt expensive stuff. its just memory laden stuff.I am a major memory keeper when it comes to stuff. I am trying to pare back in a HUGE way. I need food, warmth, shelter, and my family(which at this point includes the animals) I have many other conveniences and memory things and clothes that dont fit and tools I dont use. etc etc. I am constantly looking for things to lighten the load and simplify life and housekeeping. I am forever filling storage boxes.Then I take it all to the thrift store. How did I manage to GET all this extra stuff?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
for thats how I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me with tears
then don't remember me at all.
on that same note, my mom rarely calls me anything. Sometimes she calls me Cher, or Kath(cheryl and kathy are her sisters) by mistake or if I was sassy she will say TAMMY JO! otherwise she doesnt call me anything.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
now on to my stupid husband. he doesnt get homeschooling. he doesnt get the kids. he dumped on me for the second time in as many weeks. I realize he is stressed but hell so am I. No need to dump on me and tell me how life sucks for you and you dont have all the things you wanted and you sacrifice everything(yeah cus I sure dont sacrifice for the family, right) and how the kids are not like your colleagues kids. and on on on on. I am sorry that he feels that way. I told him that. as in I am sorry you feel that way. he said no you arent. he is having manopause or something. he is really off. he wants the kids to be independent learners, or love learning but never gives them the chance and doesnt understand that loving learning doesnt mean loving to learn the things he loves to learn. they are individuals. and to some extent they are responsible for their destiny. If history doesnt interest them, they can learn something else. yes its important to know some stuff but if it isnt something they like why make a big deal about it, cramming it down their throats isnt going to make them love it. We are at a cross roads. sending them to school isnt going to help what he thinks is the problem. they dont love to learn, they dont seek it out, they dont get excited about it. that isnt going to change sending them to school. I would like to see them self motivate a bit more but they dont. I see it as a journey and he sees only the end, and in his mind at this point the end means digging ditches for a living. That may be but it may turn out differently too. He and his brother were both late to their careers. I was late to go to college. he is just pissed that one of our kids is having trouble functioning and the guy we saw suggested we medicate him and see if it helps. if it doesnt, no harm no foul. to him that means he is a failure as a parent. he said on the way home his entire parenting career has been nothing but disappointment. thats really sad. I think he is setting himself up for disappointment. he is acting like his dad. if you dont become what I think you should become and in the manner in which I believe you should get there then you are a failure and I have failed you as well. thats not right! I suppose I shouldnt post this here but jesus christ it isnt like I can talk to anyone else about it. just dont mention it ot him.