I have come to the conclusion that we will have to give up certain dreams if we go, others if we stay. There are two hospitals in duluth. One we want nothing to do with so it aall depends on the other. if the way they do things isnt suitable to Eric then duluth is just out. There are no independent clinics anymore. they are all owned and run by one hospital or the other. I am half hoping now that they wont be what he wants. I did mention to him staying here and adopting. he wasnt mad. I have a hard time judging what his reactions will be to things. I always think he is mad at me even when he isnt. My alcoholic childhood I suppose back to haunt me. He actually sounded a little open to the idea of adopting if we stayed here. I didnt push it. I didnt say any more about that. but now I am hoping again. I just dont know what will happen and that is so hard for me. waiting is not my specialty. its not something I am good at. I will just try to keep busy.
today is cloudy and overcast and cold. Maybe I will get some sewing done. I have several pillow case dresses waiting to be made. I have chubber covers to be made. I have a package for megh and sheamas to gather and send. I have blankets to finish. I could make more silkies. I have lots of things I could and should do. There is always laundry needing to be done. I guess I better go get started. Eric is on call today so I am home all day
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