I dont know WHAT happened

but Ijust had to restore my laptop to its factory condition. As in lose everything. it was the only way. I didnt have a lot on here yet but I lost all my bookmarks too. stupid microsoft.

now on to my stupid husband. he doesnt get homeschooling. he doesnt get the kids. he dumped on me for the second time in as many weeks. I realize he is stressed but hell so am I. No need to dump on me and tell me how life sucks for you and you dont have all the things you wanted and you sacrifice everything(yeah cus I sure dont sacrifice for the family, right) and how the kids are not like your colleagues kids. and on on on on. I am sorry that he feels that way. I told him that. as in I am sorry you feel that way. he said no you arent. he is having manopause or something. he is really off. he wants the kids to be independent learners, or love learning but never gives them the chance and doesnt understand that loving learning doesnt mean loving to learn the things he loves to learn. they are individuals. and to some extent they are responsible for their destiny. If history doesnt interest them, they can learn something else. yes its important to know some stuff but if it isnt something they like why make a big deal about it, cramming it down their throats isnt going to make them love it. We are at a cross roads. sending them to school isnt going to help what he thinks is the problem. they dont love to learn, they dont seek it out, they dont get excited about it. that isnt going to change sending them to school. I would like to see them self motivate a bit more but they dont. I see it as a journey and he sees only the end, and in his mind at this point the end means digging ditches for a living. That may be but it may turn out differently too. He and his brother were both late to their careers. I was late to go to college. he is just pissed that one of our kids is having trouble functioning and the guy we saw suggested we medicate him and see if it helps. if it doesnt, no harm no foul. to him that means he is a failure as a parent. he said on the way home his entire parenting career has been nothing but disappointment. thats really sad. I think he is setting himself up for disappointment. he is acting like his dad. if you dont become what I think you should become and in the manner in which I believe you should get there then you are a failure and I have failed you as well. thats not right! I suppose I shouldnt post this here but jesus christ it isnt like I can talk to anyone else about it. just dont mention it ot him.