I just don't even want to try anymore

There is this family. They do not live NEAR me. Only within the same town. I am being purposely vague. They have a dog. I have a dog. Their dog got lost once and I found him. I kept him until we found his home. he was a nice boy but not much on manners. He comes to visit us still. He comes, I call them. they come get him. or alternately I call and they dont come get him. and sometimes I just dont call because it is late at night or I am just plain sick of it. so one of their kids is in a group I lead (again vauge) and since the rest of the family tromps along and sits and just waits during the group meeting I mention the dog to include the other kids, to relate to the kid in my group, to just have conversation with the mom. well apparently this distresses them greatly and I have been "making jokes" about their dog visiting us. If you kept your dog HOME on a LEASH, or at the very least NEUTER him, he wouldnt BE at my house. so how is this now MY fault? I am so done with this town.

this town is too whacked

no you can not sell your wares at the farmers market, but I am sure you would be welcome at a flea market.

no we cant teach your kid to swim, he is afraid of water.

and now, no we can't have your kid at church because after we set them on fire and then we feed them red juice(and dont tell me red food dyes are harmless) and then tell them sit down and shut up and yours cant.

No we never know who you are at the store even though you have come here darn near 7 days a week for over 3 years.

I am just hurt and pissed and upset and angry and on and on.

No one likes to hear their kid is in trouble. but its even worse then its so fucking STUPID. No one is saying anything about the girl who uses the F word and climbs the walls and has a sassy mouth like crazy.

I have NEVER felt the way I do in this town. never. ever. I have lived about 10 different places. some small towns. some big cities. some mid sized cities. none has ever treated us the way they do here.

That said, I AM thankful for the few good friends I have and that I feel I can count on. The ones who tells me dont fret, we dont all feel the way the rest of the town does. The ones who willingly spend time with us. The ones who show up when times are tough. I AM thankful for them. I just have to come to the place where I can say the rest of the town can GO TO HELL.

thinking

We went to the big new library the other day and they have a nursing room with a comfy chair and table. It was attached to the bathroom but not IN the bathroom. This got me to thinking. Why is nursing so controversial? its feeding a child. these moms are not trying to flash their breasts.and very often there is NO SKIN visible, OR the mom has completely covered baby and herself with a blanket. so whats the problem? No one ever says oh god go feed that baby in the bathroom I cant stand the sight of that bottle. Why are we so hung up on breasts? All the way back to the time of christ women's breasts have been used for feeding their children. when did it turn so bad? When did it stop being a nurturing loving moment between mom and babe and turn into something so horrid we cant stand to see it, and thinking all nursing mothers need to be banished to another place away from us? I just dont understand. Doctors encourage moms to nurse their babies. it is better for baby. but society knows better than doctors and health professionals? I remember in Iowa we talked about having a nurse in. I was a part of a group that was VERY pronursing and there were several nursing moms in our group at any given time. I couldnt nurse. I had a breast reduction many years ago. but I was more than willing to sit there and pretend I was nursing along with my nursing friends to send a message that nursing is ok and natural and not a big deal. Nothing ever actually came about though. But I knew more nursing moms than bottle feeding moms when we were in Iowa and we knew tons of people that had kids. we were a group of 18 families and nearly all of them had kids. One was a female doc and even SHE encountered people complaining that she nursed her kid. Come ON people. wise up. give it up already. there are so many other things to be outraged about. people are killing each other. drugs are rampant. the kids at school are bullying and being bullied. be outraged at that. dont condemn a mother for doing whats best for her child.

Barbies and other ramblings

Maia is 4 now. She had one or two barbies but not that much stuff. I decied it was time. I dug out all of the old Barbie stuff I had been saving since big sister stopped playing with it. yes sir yes sir three bags full! and I sent her down to her dollhouse with it all and she flew in for lunch gobbled it up in a flash and was gone again. Didn't hardley see hide nor hair of her the entire day. She just played barbies. she changed their clothes. they danced around. she switched barbies and played with a different one. she played and played and played. For her this is nye on a miracle. She is an active child much like her brother and together they run run run and stopping to play one thing (one thing that requires staying in one placce even) is not something that happens very often with them. I also gave back a bucket of toys that I took away at one time. They didnt clean them up when I asked so I took them away. months ago. so it was like christmas when they got it all back. they thought I went to the thrift store and bought it all for them. Ethan stayed down there playing for a couple hours but once he FINALLY got himself dressed he couldnt resist a chance to be outside, as is typical. but hey even a couple hours is a big thing for him. Then he helped clean the gutters and helped in the garden. I went grocery shopping(ohhh big fun)and then we had a cook out. We were going to invite the new neighbors but the way Chrysta acted all morning I decided I didnt want to reward her and punish them.

Ehan is such an imp sometimes but when it comes to working on something together he is all in there helping out. He loves to take out the compost. he did that several times yesterday while Daddy cleaned the gutters. He loves to help in the garden. He loves to help set the table or clear the table. and if there is one kid I can count on to clear his spot after he eats it's Ethan. He likes to go to the store with me just the two of us. He DOESNT like doing things that are just him. he also doesnt like cleaning the playroom(who would) but I dont dump all the toys on the floor every single time they get picked up. I clean them up and say take out one or two toys and then put them back before choosing another. that lasts 2 minutes tops and he has it dumped again. I imagine it wont be long before everything is on the floor again. I know the barbies are all over the floor already. I wonder if she would like the furniture my mom and I saved all these years from my barbie days. I suppose it would just add to the chaos.

Eric has taken Ethan to go hunting this morning then in to round on his patients. leaving me with just Maia who is momentarily sleeping and will likely sleep in because I didnt go back to sleep. she usually is up at 730 like clockwork.I didnr go back to sleep at 7 because I didnt think it would be worth it. of course now she wont wake and I will have missed out on an extra hours sleep.

parent child time/gripe session

If a parent likes to hunt and fish and ski and boat and do all sorts of sporty outdoors stuff and the kids dont, how can they spend some time together. Of my 4 kids, one loves to go hunting, hiking, isnt big enough to ski, and isnt fond of fish, but loves to be outdoors and loves to take whatever dad offers. The others do not want to do those things. Dad offers often to take them along on those things but they dont want to go. He says dont ever come to me and say I didnt spend any time with you, I offer all the time to do x, and x, and x. but why cant he try something THEY enjoy? (this is Car rubbing off on me) Ok so they dont like to hunt or fish or boat or ski, but why not play runescape with them, watch their favorite movies with them, ask them what THEIR interests are? he parents just like his father probably did. My way or the highway. I dont care what you want or like this is what we do. They do enjoy the bike ride they take every year to Duluth and each year want to start further and further away from town. They like their bikes, he likes his bike, why not take them on a leisurely bike ride now and then? not a ten mile trek, or a 70 mile braml but a bike ride around for fun? Why not play blocks with the little kids awhile? or color with them? why does it have to be all or nothing? I am starting to feel tired and much like a single parent. yes he works and brings home the bacon, he also grows the vegetables. but when it comes to the kids 99% is on me. Either he isnt here because he is at work, or doing something HE enjoys, or he is watching the news and/or reading the paper. I left the little two to get ready for bed and he heard me say it, and I went to print out my pumpkin stuff. I came back an hour later and he was still watching the news and the kids were not ready for bed. then when I came in he yelled at them to brush their teeth. While they were in the room WITH HIM and NOT getting ready for bed they colored with crayon on the bathroom counter, and scribbled with marker all over the mail. and he didnt know where the marker was or that they did it. how can you be in the same room and be so far away you dont know what is going on around you? They pull crap with him that they would never try with me because they KNOW they wont get away with it with me. but when Dad is in charge they go absolutely hog wild. it is like I have to be ON 25 hours a day and never leave or take a break because the chaos I will come home to is worse than staying home.

yesterday...ohhhh yesterday

yesterday was a nice fall day to get out. We went to a local farm that had pumpkins and pumpkin bowling, hay ride without hay,a corn crib full of corn that the kids could play in, There was a petting zoo, and a corn maze. The kids RAN into the maze and we went in after them and within seconds they were out of sight. we wandered our way through, zigging this way and that way, wondering if the kids were lost too. We came out the other side missing a couple of kids. Ethan and Maggie were sitll in there somewhere, and we thought the others were too. We waited and waited. Then Maggie and Ethan wandered out after following Kizzy's voice. We waited some more. Another straggler came out with another group. Finally we gave up and found them back at the beginning running around and having a great time. A couple of the older ones went to the grass maze which was apparently harder than the corn maze and got lost in there while the grownups sat down to visit a little while. Then we all went home. I got my kids each a little pumpkin to take home and draw a face on. All in all I think they had a pretty good time. It was fun to get out and do something different. I dont know if it was worth the 5 bucks per person to get in but we did have fun, and I am a bit cheap that way. Next week is the theater trip. We will see Peter Pan. I like this getting out and doing stuff better than hanging at the gym for a couple hours.

Dont drink the milk!

WHY? (whisper) It's poisoned!