Did you sleep in a warm bed last night? Did you have a healthy breakfast this morning? Did you stop for coffee at the coffee shop? Did you have a hug this morning? now think if you were a child, in a place where food is scarce, love even scarcer, and warmth is not a priority. You dont know if anyone loves you. you dont know what love even is. All you know is the same 4 walls.

Now think if you could do something for that child. Reecesrainbow.org is reaching out and trying to help children with special needs find an adoptive home. Adoption is an expensive venture and many of these children would not be adopted without a financial grant. remember that warm bed? coffee from the coffee shop? Couldnt you go to Reecesrainbow.org and donate a couple of dollars to a child's grant? There are many children with no grants, because no one has donated to their future adoption. Every child deserves a future dont they? Every child deserves a family dont they? Please help these kids with a donation. Even if you can only donate a couple dollars it helps. Wont you please help?

Feel free to copy and paste this and pass it on to any and all of your friends. Lets change the world together. Wouldnt it be a wonderful world if all children had homes? Orphanages are no place to grow up!

Ever heard of Reeces Rainbow?

Reecesrainbow.org

If people would just go there and donate just a couple of dollars to a childs adoption fund and help him or her find a family. Skip that cup of coffee at the coffee shop and donate to help a child find a family.

HE mentioned adoption

oh yes he did! so right now its a maybe. depends on a lot of other things going on, like moving or not moving. but maybe is better than no no no. AND I think I am coming to a place where I can be ok either way. If we stay I would love to adopt again, and if we go and dont get to that will be alright too.

date night

Eric and I went out to dinner tonight just the two of us.  I had on jeans and a blouse I havent been able to wear in awhile.  I had a house salad with chicken. wow! was that good  We enjoyed each other kid free for a while. and when we got home Ethan greeted us with smiles reserved for special times like "get out of bed free cards"  he was so cute though. And he said "You look beautiful Mama!" very sweet boy. very sweet moment.  Makes the messes he got into today fade away. Now we are going to watch Masterpiece Theater together.  We have been watching Little Dorritt for weeks. Its like a ten part movie! I love it.

Eric has a jumble of thought too

I have come to the conclusion that we will have to give up certain dreams if we go, others if we stay. There are two hospitals in duluth. One we want nothing to do with so it aall depends on the other. if the way they do things isnt suitable to Eric then duluth is just out. There are no independent clinics anymore. they are all owned and run by one hospital or the other. I am half hoping now that they wont be what he wants. I did mention to him staying here and adopting. he wasnt mad. I have a hard time judging what his reactions will be to things. I always think he is mad at me even when he isnt. My alcoholic childhood I suppose back to haunt me. He actually sounded a little open to the idea of adopting if we stayed here. I didnt push it. I didnt say any more about that. but now I am hoping again. I just dont know what will happen and that is so hard for me. waiting is not my specialty. its not something I am good at. I will just try to keep busy.

today is cloudy and overcast and cold. Maybe I will get some sewing done. I have several pillow case dresses waiting to be made. I have chubber covers to be made. I have a package for megh and sheamas to gather and send. I have blankets to finish. I could make more silkies. I have lots of things I could and should do. There is always laundry needing to be done. I guess I better go get started. Eric is on call today so I am home all day

a jumbled mess of thoughts.

I hung out some clothes today on the line. it ws so nice to do that. It was bittersweet though because there are no diapers to hang. I love doing diapers. I love hanging baby clothes. I love hanging regular clothes but its a special love to hang diapers and baby clothes. It makes me sad. We wouldnt have as large a property if we bought the church we are going to look at and probably wouldnt have a place to hang clothes. I would really miss my clothes line. but as I was hanging clothes, I wondered if I really want to leave her as much as I think I do. would I give up moving to stay here and adopt a child? I want to move from here but I dont. I want to stay but I dont. I want a baby but I cant. cant always get what you want. if you try sometimes you get what you need. what do I need? most poeple will tell me I need another child like I need a hole in my head. moving would give us new opportunities, for the kids as well as for me. there is just nothing here. I might consider sending my kids to school if I felt better about the school. at the same time the kids have made friends here and they would have to leave them again. well maybe the church will not be what we want or need. maybe the hospital wont be what Eric wants. then I guess we dont have to think much about it. we will just stay here awhile longer. maybe if we didnt move I could save up more for an adoption? will he ever be on board for another adoption? does he understand my deep desire for another child? I know there are things he wants but doesnt buy. we could stay here and he could buy his double barrell shotgun, I could adopt(maybe?) he could fish and hunt but he couldnt do the greenhouse here. GRRRR. so many thoughts so many directions. and still 4 more days until we do anything associated with moving. selling this house would be hard. so maybe we are stuck here. or maybe we will stay and make the best of it. I just dont know. As dad always says, whatevers gonna happen probably will.

can someone tell me

just how does the Obama family's choice of dog affect the president's ability to govern?