raising black boys to black men

so yesterday on the drive to st cloud I got to thinking about something someone said in an adoption forum.they were concerned about how a white parent could possibly teach a black child to grow up to be a black man.

the conclusion I came to is, it doesnt really matter if you are a black parent or a blue or green or pink or white. you teach the kid to be responsible and caring. you teach them right from wrong. this is not a black vs white issue. its a human issue. Sure a white parent might have a learning curve in dealing with discrimination but together with their child they can come to conclusions that are appropriate. so how are black men different from white men beyond the color of their skin? there are good black men and bad black men. likewise there are good white men and bad white men.

it all depends on the man. you can have a child grow up in poverty and surrounded by violence and yet he grows up to be a good and responsible citizen. You can have a child who grows up in luxury wanting for nothing, and he can grow up to be a sociopath. so why the big deal about white people raising black children? it shouldnt matter what color either is. what matters is the ability of the parent to teach the child and raise him and parent him until he is grown.

is it better a child should die of starvation than be raised by a family with a skin color different from his own? Is it better a child should sit in foster care never knowing a permanent home just because he cant have a home that is black? If a white child was placed with a black family who could take care of them and raise them to be responsible productive citizens then I would be ok with that. so why the big deal about white people raising black kids? its this age old double standard. we should not let skin color dictate our hiring, or friendships, or interactions, but at the same time we SHOULD let skin color keep a child from a home? all of a sudden when it comes to raising kids we should seperate the colors? that makes no sense at all.

I have YET to meet a person of any color that I had a problem with personally based on their color. I have had friends who are black, mexican,spanish, mixed race, white. they are all just people. if we arent supposed to judge black people based on their color, why are they judging white people based on color?

people are just people! good or bad. black or white. rich or poor. you have to judge each person as an individual. I do not want to be judged with the likes of leona helmsly just because I am a white woman. I do not want to be judged as like the adoptive parents who have killed their children, based only on the fact that I am an adoptive parent. I want people to look at ME and say good or bad based on my actions or inactions. thats the way I try to look at other people. yes color is important, its part of who you are and should be celebrated. but it shouldnt be the sole decider of who you are.

about my friend

I took my friend to st cloud this morning. the "hotel" I dropped him at was gracious enough to let me in even though they didnt open till noon. I fully expect to see him again as all his family has to do is pay 50 dollars in the next 5 days to get him home. I was also informed that there is someone in this county who takes care of these kinds of friends. Will have to look into that as there seems to always be some new "friend" who needs a place. Sorry Car, I was unable to look in on your friend. but I did ask and they said as long as there is no food agression they will find them a home. so I imagine your friend has found a friend of his own or is well on his way to finding a life partner. My friend was so loving on the ride. I hated to come home without him. He just wanted me to love on him. He wanted to leave with me. He really and truly believes I am his person. Thats what I get I suppose for having a heart.

I love languages

I wish I could speak them all. I could learn one probably in whats left of my life but which one? russian? german? spanish? I know a smattering of each. maybe something else? I think I am fairly fluent in American(not English, thats different). I think it would be fun to speak something other than pig latin. Not that anyone would understand me but I still think it would be fun. The part I can't understand is how you get past translating into the language and start THINKING in that language. Immersion maybe. I think when we went to Mexico my Spanish was coming back and I had to think less to translate but I dont know that I ever got to the point of THINKING in Spanish. Not that I know that much to begin with but enough to pay the cab and find a bathroom = )I am not of Spanish heritage. I AM German, but there are no German speaking relatives left. I have a little RUssian who might enjoy learning Russian with me, but at this point he is mastering American. Spanish would be most likely the most useful but maybe not. I dont know.I just love languages. I love to hear them. I love to imagine being able to speak them. if only I really COULD speak them all.

A whole houseful of cranky. want some?

today we went ice skating. the kids had a good time. we all walked up there and they skated awhile and then came home again and made hot choco and Maia has been losing it ever since. her candy cane was broken. sister took her spot. ethan called her something. sister isnt talking to her. blah blah blah. cry cry cry. she is beside herself. she has no idea why we are not dealing with these terrible injustices against her. Daddy is not helpful at this point. he is tired. reading the paper. tuned out. angry that I asked him to interrupt his busy schedule to parent. I wanted to stay home alone awhile today but that didnt happen. I wanted to get out yesterday that didnt happen either. he is on call next weekend all weekend. I neeeeeed to get away awhile....alone. but I guess that isnt going to happen. cody and chrysta are home from their dads. chrysta is all attitude and uppity. Not sure why she doesnt share her lovely attitude with her dad. oh thats right because no one asks anything of her and they only do fun things. so all in all its not been a lovely day. oh three down now, one to go. Ethan is wailing because I want him to clean up his room. I cant even walk in there. his clothes are everywhere instead of putting them away. so lets see that leaves just cody to be pissed off. I guess I might as well get that out of the way now, so I will go tell him he has to get off the computer for awhile so sister can have turn. not that she deserves it at this point.

so on a list I am on they brought up the fiasco where they took all those kids from their parents who were polygamous. I am not saying that it is ok to marry a 12 year old. I am not saying its ok to have sex with a 12 year old. that said, I get to wondering if they took the kids out of fear for their safety or because they lived outside the norm.

Maia wants a barbie with flat feet. mattel needs to move into this time when women do not live in their high heels all day every day. We have flat feet, we wear tennis shoes, and other shoes that do not require feet at a 60% grade.

I am outraged that they mayor even ASKED the city to foot the bill for his drunken brawl. I am even more flabbergasted that the council agreed to pay it. How has this man stayed in office for so long? His city is obviously not his priority. He is lookin out for number one, and not even considering the people of this city. Just like they stuck us with the paving of that road....because they promised the maintenance guy they would pave it. not because it needed it. not because the people were screaming to pave it. but because they promised the maintenance guy as well as the owner of the new development. This town is so assbackwards and screwy. the entire city INCLUDING SEMI TRUCKS drive on that new road. yet only the families who live on have to foot the bill. I grew up on a truck route so I know the damage that is done by them. sure am glad we paved that road up.....so we can pave it again in a couple years! but I digress. Back to the mayor and his legal problems. How did this become OUR problem? when did we become responsible for his adult actions(no matter how juvenile they were). I cant believe the council went along with this. and they let him vote on it! he should have recused himself. it directly affected him. god I hope the new mayor is better than this one.